About Dana

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I'm a dichotomy of blue jeans, pretty jewelry, frugalista, and Southern girl living the simple rural life. I want to live my life holistically, thoughtfully, economically, and most of all gratefully, and encourage other women to do the same.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Mother I Wanted to Be

I said I was never getting married.


Then I said I was going to have a career and no children.

Double oops.

Then when I changed directions, I decided it was only going to be a little turn. I owned a company, and my new little one would come to work with me (with a nanny) every day until he was old enough to go to preschool. And then he would go to school and after-school care, and I would continue traveling and wooing clients for my PR agency.

So we tried the office thing and frankly, it was a little crazy for both of us. Then I handed him off dutifully for the next few months of his life to a nanny while I continued to run a business. I would show my new son what a powerful, independent woman could do, earning a living for her family and taking care of home life, too. That's the kind of mother I wanted to be.

But something happened to the career woman.

 I won't say she died.I'll just say she learned a little about what's important.

First, she sold her company.

Then she opened an office at home and scaled back her clients to only include those who did not make her travel anywhere away from her nice, country house. Then she told the nanny good-bye forever. And she wiped a little one's tail while juggling the phone on her shoulder and talking to the president of a company. Or a reporter. (Ssshhhh....don't tell anyone).

And although her days were the longest in history, she loved them.

So today, I am no longer the mother I wanted to be.

I am the mother I am.

I homeschool my son. I still work out of my home office, mostly writing for clients and magazine editors and doing a few PR jobs. I cook (and like it) and clean (and like it OK except for the toilets). I travel to swim practice and Cub Scouts and horseback lessons.

And I stay home Friday nights and watch "Harry and the Hendersons."

(He loved it).

And so do I (all of it).

Sure glad I didn't turn out like the mother I wanted to be.

**And happy anniversary, Mr. Country Belle.

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